the birthing of a DREAM

Wow…it’s been awhile.  I actually LOVE writing, but I am so very undisciplined with it!  I really love hearing how these thoughts help and encourage and inspire so many – people who I never even thought would read what I have to say! So, for those of you who do read, thank you, my heart is to be an encourager of the Word…which I honestly believe is THE key to life and life to the full!

This entire year the women in our Church – our tribe – the girls that we get to do life with – have been focusing on the thought ‘dream again‘ – a theme from the heart of our fearless leader Ps Chris Pringle.  I really do love this because the truth is, no matter what stage of the dream we are in, ‘dream again’ applies!

If you’ve never dreamt a dream
If your dream is just a little seedling
If your dream is starting to bear some fruit
If the winter season has come and your dream has withered away
If your dream seems to be barren with no sprouts appearing
If your dream has been fulfilled
If your dream has been stolen and left you with a broken heart
If your dream just keeps on growing
If your dream never grew and so you gave up
If your dream is old and withered and past it’s time

D R E A M  and  D R E A M   A G A I N… and again and again and again…

Isaiah 66v9 says ‘Shall I bring to the time of birth and not cause delivery? says the Lord. Shall I who cause delivery close up the womb? says your God.’

My friend is pregnant at the moment – very pregnant in fact waiting for her little bambino to arrive – and it made me think of the process that takes place; the initial excitement and joy of the news ‘we are pregnant’, the photos where the bump is enhanced as much as possible and the relief of actually looking pregnant not just getting a tummy, the countdown as the weeks go by, the preparation for the new little arrival, the feelings of discomfort as the date draws ever so close, the due date is reached and baby seems very content inside, the impatience that starts to creep in as the days clock over, maybe even a little fear starts to creep in, the annoyance of those well-meaning people asking ‘have you had your baby yet?’, then the twinges as something starts to take place but no, false alarm, then the actual start of the real-deal, but then oh the process that takes place, the hours that go by (that I can only assume must feel like decades ha!!), the pain, the ‘what the hell was I thinking, why did I do this’ (or why did YOU do this to me), the final breakthrough push and THEN the dream arrives!  Screaming, messy and immediately requiring every ounce of your attention and focus, and then as the days and weeks unfold the zombie state that takes over, the thoughts of ‘we must have been mad’, ‘do we really want to do this’ and all sorts of other emotions and thoughts as that rollercoaster ride continues to rush wildly by…

I absolutely think that this is what our dreams can look and feel like!!  The initial ‘I have a dream’, the first stages potentially trying to show that something is there, it really is happening right, I wasn’t just imagining this thing?!!  The days and weeks and months and years and even decades that pass as we wait for the fruition of that dream, the things we do in the ‘waiting’ season, the frustration and discomfort as we feel like this dream should really be here by now, the disappointment when it doesn’t arrive ‘on time’, the sadness we feel as we watch others living out their dreams that we so wish were ours or just that ours would hurry the heck up!  The moments where it feels like ‘yes this is happening’ and next minute, no, no it’s just a false alarm, the times well-meaning people confuse your motivation, ask annoying questions, tell you all about how great their life and their dream is.  And even then when the dream starts to unfold, it’s messier and noisier than you realised, those feelings of ‘what was I thinking’, ‘can I actually do this’, ‘why did you even give me this dream’, ‘who was I to think that I could even manage this’ etc can flash through our minds…

And then there’s those annoying women who have the perfect sickness-free, glowing pregnancy, deliver their little one early with a 2 hour labour and have little to no pain… (please Lord, let it be me….!!)  Yep, same deal – those people who have a dream and make it look so darn easy!!

Truth is, we can never really know everyone’s journey, we never really see the intimate details, the sleepless nights, the hard work, effort and energy, the drive and motivation and enthusiasm, the tears, the sweat, the failures and mistakes, social media can be so misleading!  So, regardless of how easy it looks, let’s not judge one another’s journey or even wish for someone else’s…just travel your own and make it the absolute best you can!

I am a dreamer, crazy dreams and so many of them!  Some have been easy and quick, some have taken years, some have required so much work I’ve wondered if God is even in it, many I am still waiting on…sometimes my heart aches when I think of them, many are so big that they scare me, some require so much money and resource that I wonder if it’s even possible, all of them require sacrifice and selflessness.  I have watched others walk paths that I long to walk, I have felt like I’ve been at the starting block for such a long time and experienced those ‘false start’ moments, I’ve been misunderstood and been accused, I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve talked to every man & his dog and then realised I should talk to God, so I’ve prayed, I’ve journaled, I’ve studied His Word and tried to learn from the journey of others, I’ve questioned, I’ve condemned and criticised myself, I’ve wondered if it’s even worth it, I’ve lost faith and then given myself a kick up the butt and believed again, I’ve procrastinated, I’ve tried to make it happen by myself, I’ve made mistakes, I’ve hurt others and regretted the fact that I’m human walking a journey with learning curves that affect others, I’ve grown and I’ve learnt, I’ve dealt with issues in my heart that sometimes seem to keep on popping up, I’ve let dreams go and surrendered them again and again, I’ve encouraged and been genuinely happy for others even in the hardest moments when I’ve wished it was me, I’ve shared my journey and hopefully inspired those who’ve listened… But no matter what; I am so incredibly thankful for this life that He has given me and for every breath I get to breathe and so I daily choose to guard the dreams that the Dream Giver has given me (and also choose to believe that they are from Him), I will keep on keeping on, listen for His voice and be obedient to it, and I will continue to bravely dream again and again, while my heart is beating I’m on this earth for a purpose and I fully intend to live it out big and bold!

This post (as usual) is far longer than I planned…so well done if you’ve gotten this far!  I guess today, my encouragement is this; that no matter where you are at with your dream – hang on to it, hold it tight, don’t let  it go, fight for it with every ounce of faith and grit and determination within you.  If you feel your dream is lost or stolen, I encourage you today – steal it back, look for it and find it because it is there, in the depths of your heart.  If you feel like it is dead don’t you worry because I know that my God is able to breathe the breath of life into all dry, dead, lifeless things (if we let Him…key point!)

Psalm 62v5-8 ‘My soul (my mind, will and emotions), wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.  He only is my rock and my salvation, He is my defense, I shall not be moved.  In God is my salvation and glory, the rock of my strength and my refuge is Him!‘

How incredible is that!

It isn’t easy!  It takes time – longer than you realised!  It takes hard work and energy and determination!  I know there’s been some pain, I know it has really sucked at times, I know that you feel like it’s all over, I know you’ve felt that He’s abandoned you, I know that some seasons are so incredibly hard to endure.  But oh how I implore you today to let your expectation be placed back on Him, He is so good, He is faithful and He has nothing but love for you.  Even though your dream may feel like it is taking forever to arrive or that perhaps it never made it full term, know today that God has got this, He’s got you, even when nothing makes sense, let His peace comfort you and allow the beautiful dream giver to stir that dream within you and help you to dream again.

J. xx

PS if you are a man – apologies for the pregnancy speel… if you are a woman I would love to invite you to our Every Woman DREAM AGAIN Gathering at the end of October with Sheila Walsh, see here for details. x